Lightness, and Time

          Last Saturday I got a tattoo on my upper back. It's a graph by the British artist Banksy, a girl holding balloons. I was inspired by Milan Kundera's book the unbearable lightness of being. The background of the book is Communist period Czech and the main character, doctor Thomas, believes that life is short and light, and love and sex are separate. I feel my life is becoming lighter, well, not in a sexual way, but it is definitely a new phase of life that I am not able to judge right now.

          When I was watching its movie version the other day to get back my memory, one scene stroke me very strongly. It is this man who has moved to Switzerland and giving a speech about how democracy is important is important for his home country Czech. Thomas' lover asked him "if you really want to save the country, then why did you immigrate".

         

                                                         

 'what happens but once

       might as well not have happened at all

If we have only one life to live

we might as well not have lived at all'

Today I was doing tutoring with my Mission Hills kid Kayla.She was one of the only ones who was doing their homework,while other kids were talking really loud and being wild. She was really angry because she had to accept all the punishments because others  were not behaving well. When looking at her face and her anger, I suddenly thought of this lecture back in high school when Mr. Davis was talking about World Government. Many people were not showing any interest, and some just walked out. I had a really long face, and moved to the front row to show that I still want to listen.  Anyways, I love my kid Kayla, she is the best.

 I remember it is written in a book that all people who go to America are escaping from their past. This is true, because I am escaping, or more accurately, I chose to leave.  When I listen to 6.4 activists, I will still cry like a baby. I totally understand how much a decision it is for my parents, and how much they are not talking to me. They want me to have a light life basically. But at the same time, I always feel caught between responsibility and personal pursuit.

"当你不能够再拥有，你唯一可以做的，就是令自己不要忘记". 

when you can't own something anymore, they only thing you can do is not to forget about it.

"每个人都会经过这个阶段,见到一座山，就想知道山后面是什么。我很想告诉他,可能翻过山后面,你会发现没什么特别。回望之下,可能会觉得这一边更好。但我知道他不会听,以他的性格,自己不走过又怎会甘心？"

Everyone will experience this period, when see a mountain, wants to know what is behind it. I really want to tell him, maybe behind the mountain you will find nothing special. When you look back, maybe the older side is better. But I know he won't listen, how can he stop before going by himself?

- 东邪西毒 Ashes of Time